My fears...

I’m afraid of:
losing those I love (people and animals alike)

getting sick (not a cold, but the serious things)
dying
not amounting to anything
not being the best version of myself
confrontation
upsetting people
failure
heights
spiders

 

The biggest fear I have is losing my mom. She's been my rock my entire life, and has become my best friend as I've grown up. It's the relationship I cherish most. I had to watch her mom, my grandmother battle cancer and lose the fight. I loved my Oma and miss her more than words can say. When I think about that happening to my mom, I can't even think straight. I have a slight panic attack. The strength I had to have for my mom through that time dissipates - I feel like a little girl that just needs her mommy. And these are the feelings just thinking about if that happened to her.

 

I  also have this irrational fear of dying. I believe in God and Heaven, but I can't shake the fear. I think about people forgetting me. Not leaving a big enough mark on this world to be remembered. I think about who will be at my funeral, who's life did I touch - who should I have tried a little harder with. I know everyone eventually leaves this earth - but it's slightly terrifying to me.

 

I do not know how I would cope with getting the news that I was terminally ill. Watching my Oma fight to live when she was given the news the outcome wasn't necessarily positive. She never lost hope, until the day before she couldn't communicate anymore and passed. She had faith until the very end. Through all of the radiation, all of the chemo, through all of bad news - she was determined to win the fight and she fought hard. I don't know if I'd have the strength to fight through the pain, throught the fear, through the unknown.

 

The rest are general fears, they don't criple me like the ones above.

 

 

What I do other than work:

  Love – a lot   I love… people, places, animals, things – so nouns to make people smile to point out the positives in situations to be there for people in times I need to see old couples holding hands to try new places to eat to shop – too much the rain reading books hanging out with family, boyfriend, friends holidays birthdays receiving snail mail     I Read… books blogs magazines recipes shampoo bottles quotes – lots and lots of quotes (speaking of, I forgot to link up Saturday even though I wrote a post (here it is)     I go to… fairs movies parks Braves games concerts restaurants on drives   I knit I oil paint I craft I listen/play music I play with my camera – trying to figure that sucker out I worry I play counselor   I really enjoy every day life – even if nothing exciting happens that day. I could sit at home and read all day and be just as happy as if I went to everything on my “I go” list. I’m easily content and don’t require staying busy. However, it’s always nice to have something to look forward to.  

Oh Gandhi… you amaze me

 

This has always and will always be my favorite quote. Hands down.

We can preach every day how things should be different, how we are just one person, how so much is wrong with the world today – but do we do anything to change things. Obviously as one person you can’t change the world, but it takes one person to start change. You have to be an example of how people of the world should be. Treat people with kindness, help people in need, forgive, be a shoulder to lean on, smile, etc. I love the random acts of kindness movement. Just do something small – leave enough change for someone to get a drink at the drink machine, buy the car behind you’s food, volunteer, help the person struggling to reach something in the grocery store.. the options are endless. It might not change the world, but it might change the mindset of one person who will hopefully spread the love to more people.

... covers face in shame

Well here goes nothing, my list of what makes me most uncomfortable:

 

cell phone ringing in public

the feeling of wool or any other rough fabric

watching a movie with my mom and an intimate scene comes on

walking into a room full of people

using public bathrooms - not because of the sanitary issues (also a factor)

Aunt Flo

running at the gym, this comes to mind:

odors - I always think people will think they're coming from me.

talking on the phone - hate.it. - if anyone wants to take up the job of calling people for me, let me know ;)

attention - I do NOT like attention

Lady Doc appointments - who's with me

hugs from people I barely know

Reading romance novels in public - I feel like everyone can sense what I'm reading (hello 50 Shades of Grey - maybe not romance as much as erotica, baha)

 

 

Okay, so I'm easily uncomfortable - I might need to see a therapist after this.

 

 

 



… for dummies

I am very good at procrastinating. It’s an art – and I’m going to tell you how it’s done. First – you must have something important to do. Or just anything that really needs to get done.

Following this first step – find anything, and I mean ANYTHING to do other than that task. Then commit – I mean fully commit to this alternative task. Here are some examples:

Browse Pinterest.

Browsing pinterest is probably the #1 procrastination tool – it can take hours and it might cause there to be no need to procrastinate with any other tasks. However, in the even that pinterest does not satisfy your needs you can:

Get on Netflix or Hulu and start a new show from season 1. I have found many good, new favorite shows through these two sites. I’d recommend Revenge.

The positive things that come out of me procrastinating are… cleaning, organizing, exercising. These are the better options, but not quite as fun. I recommend going back up to the first two options, because they will provide you with hours of entertainment.

Hope you, who probably already had this skill just as mastered as I, will be thoroughly able to procrastinate from this day forward.

Glass Half Full

  What a better way to get back into this whole blog world than to participate in a challenge to blog every day for a month. I need to get. it. together...    
Me in 250 words or less:

My name is Christine, born in Bamburg, Germany on September 18, 1986. I lived there until the age of 6 – moving numerous times within the country. I visited almost all of the neighboring countries before we moved to the good ol’ state of Georgia. I have Acadian heritage on my dad’s side. I’m a mixing bowl of sorts. I’m as sarcastic as they come. Beneath the sarcasm is a warm heart – one that cares for everyone, even people that don’t necessarily deserve it. I am a dual citizen: American and German - be impressed. I went to college and am now in debt until the age of 423. I say yes too often and hate to say no. I love animals. probably more than humans. They love unconditionally – we could learn a little something from them. I’m 26, my mom and my boyfriend are my best friends. I want to see the world – almost every inch of it. I’m random – people have a hard time keeping up with me – it’s okay – I like to keep them on their toes. I suffered my first loss in September when my amazing Oma lost her battle with cancer – still learning to deal with it. Music speaks to my soul – I like to listen to it, play it, and sing to it (singing in the shower and car only). In short I love people, animals, laughing, music, and having the ability to make other people happy. I’m a half glass full kind of gal.

 Happy Wednesday everyone!

Then she makes her dramatic return

...or not that dramatic at all.

I have no real reason that I have been missing from the blog world. I still read blogs often, I just lost the desire to put everything out there after my Oma passed away. I am ready to leap back into this, hopefully to get to the point where I make some friends up in this here blogland.

I am going to participate in Jenni's blog everyday in May challenge. This is a commitment to blog every day in the month of May. Can't wait!