My fears...

I’m afraid of:
losing those I love (people and animals alike)

getting sick (not a cold, but the serious things)
dying
not amounting to anything
not being the best version of myself
confrontation
upsetting people
failure
heights
spiders

 

The biggest fear I have is losing my mom. She's been my rock my entire life, and has become my best friend as I've grown up. It's the relationship I cherish most. I had to watch her mom, my grandmother battle cancer and lose the fight. I loved my Oma and miss her more than words can say. When I think about that happening to my mom, I can't even think straight. I have a slight panic attack. The strength I had to have for my mom through that time dissipates - I feel like a little girl that just needs her mommy. And these are the feelings just thinking about if that happened to her.

 

I  also have this irrational fear of dying. I believe in God and Heaven, but I can't shake the fear. I think about people forgetting me. Not leaving a big enough mark on this world to be remembered. I think about who will be at my funeral, who's life did I touch - who should I have tried a little harder with. I know everyone eventually leaves this earth - but it's slightly terrifying to me.

 

I do not know how I would cope with getting the news that I was terminally ill. Watching my Oma fight to live when she was given the news the outcome wasn't necessarily positive. She never lost hope, until the day before she couldn't communicate anymore and passed. She had faith until the very end. Through all of the radiation, all of the chemo, through all of bad news - she was determined to win the fight and she fought hard. I don't know if I'd have the strength to fight through the pain, throught the fear, through the unknown.

 

The rest are general fears, they don't criple me like the ones above.